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Yes, our bodies have been colonized. Yes, I am a child of blackness. Yes, the black body has done more for society than it has gotten in return.

Yes, society seems to want to embrace a lot of things associated with blackness without actually being black. How did we get here? If everyone is so woke, why are things so terrible?

Anyway, what am I supposed to do? How do I love as a brown body in the world in a way that makes everybody happy?

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Am I the problem or is datin else? Do white women find me attractive or do they see me as some exotic idea they should find attractive?

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Not because of what or whom we love, but as a way out, a way of being seen and of being saved.

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That my power is only as valuable as the person by my side. A whole system is coded within me.

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Before I was born, my mother told my father she was pregnant at 3 a. She and my pops made a commitment to give Black dating man white children Blac, they never had, to strive and achieve and provide for us, and in response to their aspiration, some in their world thought they were leaving their roots behind and trying to become something else.

What does that mean — trying to be white? In truth, colorism has always been a thing. My grandmother and other grandmothers and mothers would warn us: I should have spoken up.

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You ever look at old family albums? You ever look at me? You ever look at yourself? Not even close.

So here I stand, trying to be woke, and not dating white women, and feeling kind of bad about that. And also, I mean, a lot of white women are really cool.